My Mother... My Hero

My mother… my hero… the wind beneath my wings…who served as an inspiration in starting this blog. And this post is all about her.

Today, 9th December, marks the day when my mother had physically left us a year ago to be united with the Creator. Time runs so fast. One year has passed, and yet the memories are still vivid in my mind.

I went back to my home country twice last year to be with her for several days during her last few months. The first time, she was in the hospital, and that was her second hospitalization after she had a stroke, her half-body got paralyzed and later on, a shocking news to us, was diagnosed with a stage 4 lung cancer. No, she wasn’t a chain smoker; she had no vice at all. My heart broke upon seeing her in that condition, not being able to move the parts of her left body, she was a left-handed person. She went through a 10-cycle radiotherapy as per one of her doctors’ advice. She had about 5 doctors then. Accompanying her to the radiotherapy section is really heart breaking. I tried my best to comfort her and I prayed beside her until it’s her turn to enter the room. The radiotherapy treatment had its side effects. She had some temporary lost of memory, but it went back to normal after sometime. And then she had lost her hair. She also had physical therapy to bring back life to her paralyzed left body part, which together with some massaging session and prayers, had helped her revive the paralyzed parts, although it’s not the same as before. Her doctor said she had 6 months to live, but she lived for 2 more months, and that was about 2 months after my second visit to her wherein she was already in the house. She was so happy to see me during that time. We talked a lot and laughed together. She had full hope that somehow she will be cured of her illness. I never thought that it was the last time that I will see her alive. Mother had been so courageous, tried hard to help herself through self physical therapy to complement her scheduled therapy with the doctor, with that hope that she will still be able to come back home to us. She had always been with us during my married life. Our home had been her home, and just went back to our home country for vacation and some important matters. No one could imagine my pain of losing her. I tried to arrange things in order to bring her back home and see her grandchildren, but her worsening condition prevented it, and traveling would only make it more difficult for her.

Her last few days were full of pains. Painkillers / anesthetics didn’t have enough effect and most of the time no effect at all anymore. But then, she still managed to smile for, what turned to be, her last photo. That was in the hospital, where she breathed her last.

Mother was a beautiful and generous woman. She was so kind-hearted and full of pity to the less fortunate people. She helped a lot of people through her simple ways. She would be remembered as well for her good cooking, her chicken curry and spaghetti were the most delicious of all. She had been the best mother to her four children and the best wife to her husband, Daddy succumbed to lung cancer as well few years before her. My mother had been a very caring, loving and ever thoughtful grandmother to her grandchildren. My kids were so close to her heart and vice versa, that's why they missed their grandma so much. Words are not even enough to describe how a wonderful person mother was. There are so much more to say about her… but I’m at lost for words…

The Wind Beneath My Wings… ever since I’ve heard and learned the lyrics of this song as interpreted by Ms. Bette Midler, it had become my theme song for my mother. The first time I’ve heard it was when I was still in college, and from then on, I made it my theme song for her. Below are the lyrics of this beautiful song by Bette Midler as well as its YouTube video.

THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS (Bette Midler)

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,for you
are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.